We have all been there; life has been going its usual course, and suddenly – seemingly out of the blue – something really shitty happens to you that crushes your peace, routine or even your life. Your beloved pet dies, somebody close to you broke their promise and disappointed you (again..!), you were involved in an accident, your partner broke up with you, money or something else got stolen from you, or an unexpected bill destroyed your savings fund – the list goes on…
These experiences deeply suck and are extremely painful; yes, We all know that! But what can we do to not get stuck in the lesson (and thus create repetition of them by attracting the same energy again) but move on. Emotionally & Spiritually?
First of all, I want to acknowledge; Yes, it sucks having to deal with these things that interrupt our (surface) peace and flow of things. I’m not going to tell you some new age stuff to “think positive” and sugarcoat it to make it go away, but there are some steps you can take to do the work that helps you move on from a hard life lesson.
Take personal responsibility
The most common reaction to things “happening to you” is probably blaming the other party involved; whatever happened was their fault (they let you down, they have taken money from you, and they were not paying attention to the street) and/or fall into the victim mode. “These things always happen to me; I’m somehow cursed, the universe doesn’t love me”, etc.
Okay, I get it. That’s the unhealthy way we have been taught to deal with things, blaming others and not taking responsibility for our own part in it, therefore believing that we are victims of our circumstances. But, don’t forget, every situation is co-created, consciously or unconsciously (usually unconsciously until you grow your awareness around it, and even then, things happen FOR us to strengthen our awareness, after all, it’s not called Earth school for no reason!
You are the creator of your life, if you believe it or not. If you adopt the mindset of “everything happens for me” instead of “to me”, you know that your Higher Self has manifested these events in order for you to learn a lesson, examine the way you have been living your life, understand your worth, or take a break from the crazy hustle you have been in.
In any case, there is always a higher reason behind what’s happening in our life.
how i recovered from the meltdown When that one Thing got stolen from me that I guarded like gollum his ring...
With exception of the example of the accident all the above things have recently happened to myself and my ex-partner.
What I want to go into today is how I got stolen a bunch of cash from some people who did some work in our apartment (whilst I was heavily sick in bed, another thing I had manifested for myself because I needed to slow the fuck down and concentrate my energy back on myself instead of everybody else and anything outside of me). That cash was very important to me and I was guarding it in a rather unhealthy way (like, seriously, Gollum from lord of the rings could have been my student, lol).
Not spending it, but obsessing about how I had it but would only use it for an emergency… in short, clinging on to it with a false sense of security…
For almost two months, I carried around that cash, knowing I had it but forcefully holding myself back from spending it because I’ve been dealing with money blocks and freaking out about money (and the fear of running out of it was one of them). The cash (it wasn’t a whole lot, but at the time, it was for me) gave me a false sense of security, a sense of security that I wasn’t able to cultivate on the inside. Therefore, I – seemingly – found it in this bill – an outside factor.
But then it happened… the nightmare in this situation manifested; my heavily guarded money got stolen from my own home under my nose and with it, my false security that I had attached to that bill came crashing down. I was angry at the thieves who did the work in our apartment, blamed my partner at the time for letting them roam around unsupervised whilst he was taking a shower when I was unable to leave bed, felt like a victim (“how unfair + I was sick, and these people even saw me laying in bed miserably but showed no mercy and went ahead in stealing my money anyway”), was overwhelmed with the events and ended up with an emotional meltdown back in bed. 🙁 This unfortunate experience triggered the breaking loose of a river of suppressed emotions, that I couldn’t hold back any longer.
Yeah it was a bitter pill to digest. After I allowed myself to feel all the feelings that came up and release most of the attachments from my system (because there comes a breaking point where you are so exhausted from keeping it all together – you just surrender to what is), I started to self-reflect as to why my Higher Self might have orchestrated all of this. I mean – the irony… I guarded that money like a watchdog, and in a moment of vulnerability, it was taken from me… and without it, I felt betrayed and powerless.
Slowly, I started to realise that I had projected way too much onto that bill… and that if continued to rely on the world outside of me to provide me with security, it could just that easily be taken away.
This event broke my resistance and, with it, a huge money pattern. I felt like a significant thing was taken from me, but, to my surprise – I was still ok (after I had worked through the emotions); no hole or portal opened and transported me into a terrible parallel world, nor did my physical body die (although my ego did a little, for sure).
The thing I was so afraid of (losing the money) actually happened in the worst possible way. Yes, it was emotionally painful, and it took away the ground beneath my feet because it was literally all the savings I had left, but to my own surprise, hell didn’t break loose, which led me to the understanding that the fear of that event had been significantly more limiting than the event itself.
Surprisingly, it didn’t drive me straight into week-long depression and apathy either (as I feared it would), on the contrary – this event finally liberated me from the freeze mode I had been in.
How?
Because that false security of having security (in form of money) on the outside and clinging on to it, prevented me from finding that security inside of myself. And if it hadn’t been ripped off me, I would have never realized that! What a gift in disguise (I’m able to say several months later!).
Now that the (false) outside security was gone, I had no other option than to rely on my inner strength, which actually felt like it was being freed by this event… finally, my energy could focus on what I wanted to create instead of using it all up by focusing on holding on to the cash that was getting less and less anyway (focus on lack creating more lack).
That inner anxiety about losing/spending the money was forcefully taken away from me, but to my surprise, it made space for fresh, new and healthier energy to fill its place instead.
I realised that I was blocking myself from moving forward with my life, as much as I stopped that money from being returned to the universal stream of prosperity. Resistance, fear and stagnation left, right and in front of me.. and I? I was in the middle of it, forcefully keeping that mix of hindering energy together, trying to prevent the worst-case scenario.
As soon as I realised that the worst case had, in fact, come true, I wasn’t afraid of it happening anymore, which freed me from its iron grip that had been holding me hostage, and I could finally start taking my power back.
There is a saying that summarises in a simple manner the point I’m making here: “A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not on the branch but on its own wings..”
That’s one example of how we give our power away and that these things that seemingly “happen to us” are, in fact, our manifestations and always serve as a lesson and a blessing in disguise.
I have listed 5 steps summarising how to move through scenarios that jump at you out of nowhere and feel like they take away the ground beneath your feet below.
Steps to work through hard lessons & clear the energy
1. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel
If you are feeling angry, sad, victimised, betrayed – whatever it is. Feel the feelings. Don’t force yourself to “keep it together”, lose it, surrender to the force of emotions that is bubbling up and wanting to be released!
If other people are involved, and you can’t have a conversation with them or don’t want to face or hurt them, that’s absolutely fine. Write a letter or record a voice message of what you would say to them; you can even call in their Higher Self to have a conversation with them (create a white light bubble where you meet with the Higher Self of the other person and see it encompass you both – a robust and high vibe, silver-white light that protects you. The white light shields you from lower vibe energies trying to attach when you have the conversation, and it also prevents you from hurting the other person energetically and creating more karma for yourself).
When you are done with the conversation, thank the Higher Self for coming in and don’t forget to ask it to leave again. Otherwise, their energy can linger around, especially if you’re not necessarily friends with this person (to send them back, you can say: thank you for coming, please respectfully return now. If you feel like saying it one time is not enough and “they” are still around, you can say it 3 times in a row).
When you decide to go with the letter or the voice message, also visualise a silver-white light bubble around the other person and around you (separately this time) and let out what you need to let out. This practice aims to safely release whatever emotions want to be released because holding on to them only hurts yourself.
When you are done, make sure you tear the letter apart or safely burn it. In the case of the verbal message, delete the voice recording when you are done and visualise violet flames burning and transforming the words and take all the emotions you just deleted with them.
2. Cut The Energetic Cords
After you are done releasing, make sure you cut the cords with the person/situation. You can visualize a knife or a razor moving along your auric field, setting the intention to cut the energetic cord with the situation/person as well as any energetic cords that are not serving your highest good anymore. You can also ask Archangel Michael to help you cut the cords with his sword. Therefore just say, «I call in Archangel Michael of the highest divine love and light to cut any energetic cords that are ready to be released – for my highest good and the highest good of all; thank you.”
3. Self-Reflect
After doing this, you will feel lighter and less attached to the emotions and the event (it might be instantly or take some hours or days). That’s when you can start to find the lesson in what happened. What did this event bring up in you? What did it release? Did it show you where you gave your power away to another person, institution or situation?
Where are you avoiding to take responsibility for something? Relying on somebody or something outside of you to fix it / help you or even save you? The answer will show itself to you if you are willing enough to receive and face it.
4. Find Gratitude
When you have understood what the lesson was, please don’t beat yourself up for it. That’s in no way helpful. Try to be grateful that it wasn’t a bigger lesson. It could have been more money; it could have been more at stake; it could have been a much more risky accident. Be grateful that you had the chance to practice in small numbers so that you can start playing big more safely – because you have learnt the lesson and won’t have to repeat it on a bigger scale!
5. Acceptance & Steps To Move On
Spend enough time on your self-reflection – until you have processed and extracted the lessons, but don’t dwell on what happened longer than necessary. Learn to let go; you can’t change what happened; only learn from it once you have done this. Move on!
How to move on:
What can you do today to get yourself in the opposite direction of what the lesson taught you? It doesn’t have to be a huge step. Take one tiny step today, the next tomorrow, the next the day after tomorrow. Etc. my step was to finally launch this website to move my healing business forward (and start generating money instead of holding on to it) – I had been procrastinating on it for more than a year.
The next step was to start sharing the nuggets of wisdom that have been coming to me. And the next steps? We will see. All I know is that I am taking things into my hands – and that’s the most important thing.
Your first step might include looking up people who can help you figure out your next steps, or get a psychic guidance reading or buy that self help book you have been thinking about. Whatever you do, just make sure it puts you onto the path of self-empowerment rather than one of dependency from the outside.
Wherever you are at, know that you have the strength to move through it and that where you are at now is not your final destination. You haven’t come here to live in suffering. You have come here to free your spirit and liberate yourself. That’s why you are moving through these transformational (and hard!) lessons.
You are moving through and out of limitation!
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