There is nothing worse than having to deal with heartbreak and being unable to move on from the person it’s connected to. We wish so much for them to understand how they’ve hurt us, and yet in most cases, we are being refused that exact compassion, understanding, and closure from the very person we want it from.
As a highly sensitive empath with a big capacity for love, I know exactly how it feels. And I know the balancing act it takes not to close off your heart because of the pain you are experiencing; after all, you’ve been working so hard to open that heart again. Closing off your heart would only punish you after everything you’ve already been through.
Unfortunately, so many people are in pain and don’t know how to deal with it or don’t have the capacity or maturity to handle sensitive hearts the way they need to be handled – as the saying goes, hurt people hurt people. But the people they hurt (you) also have feelings; we just choose to face them, deal with them, and ultimately, alchemise them.
Here are some reframes and tips from my own experience on how to handle the heartbreak, and at the end of this article, I will share a listing that I have created out of this very need to get support in times of going through breakups and deep heartache, with the purpose of helping you move through it with the help of energy work.
6 Tips To Heal From Heartbreak (of any kind)
1. It hurts so much because the truth is that you DO deserve better
This isn’t just some saying – in fact, most of the deep pain comes from intrinsically knowing that you deserve so much better than all that you have been receiving. Yes, it hurts like shit, but it does so because a part of you knows that it hasn’t been ok. You’re not just grieving the end of a relationship or the loss of a partner; you’re also purging all the ways you have been mishandled – and let yourself be mishandled- and this is deeply cleansing (and, in the first moment, upsetting) to your system. As painful as it is, by feeling it all, you are clearing the resonance out of your body, allowing you to attract better relationships.
2. You are not suffering pointlessly
Take your time to reflect and process the relationship you’re leaving behind; that way, you make sure that you’re not just suffering, but healing. Understand and take ownership of your part in it, but also be very clear on where you might be taking on too much responsibility, where accountability belongs to the other person, because it takes two to tango. It takes two people to make a relationship work, and two people to make a relationship (of any kind) unsustainable or break off altogether!
3. Don't stay stuck in the blame (take your power back)
Not because blame (accountability) doesn’t have its place; in fact, let it all out in a safe place (like your journal), but don’t hold on to the blame because it keeps you bound to the very dynamic you want to leave! This is how to handle the emotional/energetic side of it: When you’re blaming the other person: “How could they just have done this to me”, reframe to, “Why would I let them treat me like this?” not as a self-blame exercise, but out of curiosity – and to bring it back to you (hence, reclaim your power), and from there, you can make the decision that this was the last time you allowed it. This way you take your power back. Blame leaves the power (your power) with the other person, and makes it harder to move on because part of you(r) (energy) is literally still with them.
4. Alchemisation: Allow yourself to feel it all
As already mentioned in #3, it’s important not to suppress the truth of what you’re feeling. Don’t be afraid of feeling your feelings fully, the only way to be free of them is by safely releasing them by giving them space to exist and exit your system.
Allow yourself to dive into the core of the pain one more time to retrieve the part of yourself that got locked away there. Do it with as much self-love and compassion as possible. It’s a younger part of you that finally feels safe enough to bring up and show you what she had to suppress and compartmentalise away to survive. But hidden or locked away is not gone. Stored in the subconscious in order to function is not healed and free of it. Feel it to be free of it on all levels once and for all.
The moment you move through is uncomfortable and sometimes scary or dramatic and almost unbearable, but energetically you’re undoing decades of patterns and clearing energetic anchorages, keep that in mind as you move through the thick of it. It’s like throwing up; it’s awful, but you’ll feel 10 times better afterwards.
5. Finding the closure you didn't get: "Imagine" the conversation you never got to have
Often we don’t get closure because we didn’t get the conversations we needed. In this case, I love the practice of calling in the person’s higher self and having the conversation with them (the higher self), I never got to have. I do it all the time. If your clairs are developed, you can have an actual conversation with them, meaning you might hear, feel or sense their response, but even if you don’t, getting off your chest what you need to get off in the presence of their higher self can do wonders! Don’t overthink it and don’t worry if you can’t pick up on the response. Sometimes, finally saying what we never got to say is enough. When you are done, thank the higher self of the other person for coming and respectfully ask them to return (you can literally say “Thank you for coming/listening / having this conersation with me, I respectfully ask you to return now, thank you.”).
6. It will pass
I know, it sounds like a cliché, but it can truly help to remind ourselves that, when we are deep in the emotional release, this shall pass too and that you will get through it and come out better because you are meeting it with self-awareness and the willingness to take the learnings from it to create a better future for yourself. That’s huge, and nothing that big ever happens in vain. Please be patient, compassionate and loving with yourself throughout this process.
I hope these tips help you in moving through the heartache and the emotional pain that comes with relationships ending, falling apart or simply not getting what you need from someone you love.
If you’d like more assistance in clearing stuck emotions and removing energetic blocks on a soul level, you can check out the listing below.
